Earlier today, the United States experienced a total eclipse... I really want to say of the heart, but you've already heard that joke a million times, so I'll just sit here and hum it quietly to myself. It was pretty amazing to witness, even though I wasn't in the path of the total eclipse and only got to experience it partially. And that is kind of interesting because –– and forgive the melodrama –– I've been feeling partially eclipsed for the past few years in my own life.

What does that actually mean? I haven't felt like myself, as though there were parts of me being blocked and hidden away. To put it in non-eclipse terms, it was like I was an incomplete puzzle; I couldn't find some of the pieces and I couldn't find a spot for the pieces I did have. It's something I've really been trying to work through: why I began feeling this way and what the circumstances were in my life that may have triggered it, as well as how I can overcome this and feel like all of the pieces are back in their proper places.

They say that total eclipses are new beginnings, a time to look toward the future and set intentions for where you want to be in six months. That is what I'm going to do with this blog post: talk about my own new beginning as well as who and where I want to be in six months' time.

I still don't feel like I have all of the pieces in place. I don't think I ever will and, honestly, I don't think we're ever meant to be fully complete. We're always growing and changing, which is one of the beauties of life. But I'm starting to feel like I understand the bigger picture, like the moon is finally moving out of the way and I'm able to start shining again. The journey toward feeling this way has taken many years. I've really had to explore my own inner workings: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

One of the main realizations I've had is that I need to be more accepting of my own flaws. None of us are perfect and, even though I think I am a good person, I know that I am not always one. Sometimes I feel envy and resentment and bitterness... And that's okay. When I feel these emotions, I know to delve a little deeper into why I am feeling them. Then I can figure out if it is a valid emotion or an issue I need to spend some time working through (and usually it's the latter).

Hand-in-hand with accepting your flaws is accepting what makes you different. In the last few months, I have really felt called to work on my relationship with God. I won't delve too much into that as I want to write a separate post on it, but my faith had been shaken by religion. That sounds confusing, I know, but I have beliefs that do not align with the Church's values. Additionally, I am critical of the church and the fallibility of the Bible. But I realized that my relationship with God does not need to be dictated by outside forces. God had led me to my different beliefs and I should embrace that, as well as all of the other little quirks that make me, me.

By accepting these parts of me, I am feeling grounded and confident in who I am and what I want out of life. So where does this journey lead me in the next six months?

In the next six months, I want to...

• grow in my faith and strengthen my relationship with God
• shed fear and anxiety
• find a group of loving individuals who will support and encourage me
• have the courage to go out and meet the love of my life
• grow my business and my side projects, such as this blog
• continue on my journey of health and wellness