For most of my life – and especially most of my twenties – I have believed in the idea of a true self. You know, that idea that there is someone hidden away deep within you and, one day, everything will click into place and you will magically discover who you are and what you want out of life. I've spent many years waiting to find that person, that true self, thinking she would just show up one day if I wished hard enough. But then I figured something out...

The true self is a myth. You are who you are.

There is no special, perfect version of you hidden away. The you who you are now has been crafted throughout your entire lifetime by your parents, your friends, your teachers, society, politics... Every time little detail of your life has shaped you into who you are today. That won't magically fall away overnight. If you are unhappy with who you are or if, like me, you just feel like things aren't quite clicking, it's up to you to do the work.

Finding your true self is a matter of exploration, experimentation, growth and change.

When I graduated university, I found myself feeling a little lost in the shuffle. It wasn't that I was unhappy, necessarily, but more that I felt like things were a little off. Who I was did not match up with who I wanted to be and I could sense that in my everyday actions. It was like I was walking around in a tub of Jell-O: trapped and unable to see the world around me clearly.

Because that is what not living the life you want does to you. It clouds your vision and makes simple things feel heavy and impossible.

I knew something had to change. A different, new and improved me didn't exist yet, but the possibility of her did and I wanted to find her and learn more about her. One of the first – and easiest – things I did was journaling. I start to do my morning pages (which you can read more about here) and journal at least one page each night going over my day. I also started keeping a gratitude journal, where I would write down at least three things I was grateful for or enjoyed that day.

Journaling gave me an hour each day to reflect on my own thoughts and experiences, to explore them and my reactions to them. To figure out who you are, you've got to question yourself. Don't take anything for granted and don't be afraid to dig in deep. It's what is necessary to grow.

While regular journaling allowed me to cement old beliefs or discover new ones, gratitude journaling helped me discover what made me happy. I was unintentionally keeping track of the experiences and people I enjoyed most. Eventually, I started to see a pattern. I enjoyed nature, taking care of the environment, spending time outdoors. I wanted to surround myself with caring and kind people who shared those joys, as well as creative people who were taking charge of their lives. They inspired me to be more like them which, in turn, helped me to change and grow.

Journaling was the exploration for me, the "figuring out" of it all. But if I didn't experiment, or try anything new, I would be exploring the same old stuff day in and day out. So I had to start trying new things and saying yes to situations that I would have run away from before. Here are a few examples:

• I went to a movie alone. 
• I planted my first vegetable garden.
• I started repurposing old items around the house.
• I began creating my own cleaning products.
• I started my journey toward minimalism, to see if it suited me.

For some, this might seem silly. Maybe you've had a strong idea of who you are your entire life. Maybe this true self business is a generational thing, I don't know.